On a Rainy Sunday Afternoon..

 I hate Sundays. Especially the ones on the end of my weekend off. Now, most people in the working world have the luxury of a 9-5 job and weekends off. Which makes every Friday bliss and every Monday a chore. But, if you live in the world of the service industry (like myself) weekends off are a rare and treasured thing,
  But, you say, Sunday is still part of the weekend, isn't it? You're still free to do what you want, right?
  Yes, its true. I'm still free from work and still have time to relax, but in my little world, Sundays are always a downer. Its the day that reminds me that the fun is done. That I have to go back to my dull, listless little world. But I guess I should explain a little more, eh?
  This weekend I spent with my boyfriend. We've been together six years and I always love being around him, even if we bicker from time to time. He works overnights and gets the weekend off. And so, with my job, I work mostly days and have to work every other weekend so we only really get to see one another every two weeks (we live in separate towns).
   Well, I stayed over two days and had a lot of fun. We got pizza, watched Harry Potter, went to the mall and just had a good old time. His younger sister and her boyfriend came over Friday night as well and hung out with us for a bit too. And that's when they announced that they had recently gotten engaged a week ago.
   I was so happy for them! I asked how it happened, we gushed about the ring, asked about dates. You know, all the usual things. The two of them were giddy as could be and I couldn't have been more excited for them. But, as always, after they left, my jealousy and depression had to rear their ugly heads again.
  Lately it feels like everyone around me has been getting engaged. My brother and his fiancee, a friend from work, and now even my boyfriend's little sister! I felt crushed! I had always thought that Tyler and I would get engaged long before she ever did. I told my boyfriend this and he just sighed and said, "Can't you just be happy for them?"
   I want to. I so dearly want to. And I am. That poor girl has had the worst luck with relationships and I'm so happy that she found someone who treats her right. But, I can't help but feel as though I'm getting left behind again.
  For nearly three years now, I have been longing and hoping to move on with my life. To get that good job, move out of my parents house, get married or whatever and live the life I've always wanted! I'm nearly twenty four years old and I'm still stuck at my parents house with no hope of getting out. I want to move out with Tyler and move on. And I hate that I have to depend on him going with me because I cannot make it on my own. And he continues to say he's not ready, he doesn't want to yet. And I respect his decision, but I can't turn off my impatience on the matter.
  But I guess I'm rambling now, huh? That's not a great way to explain my hate for Sundays. Weekends like this, where we're left to watch his parents house for the weekend makes me think of what it'd be like for us to be on own, not have to worry about what everyone thinks of us and can just do what we want. And then Sunday morning, having to go back home since he needs to sleep for work and I have to go back to my solitary life, living under my parents' shadows and being treated like a child again. Its the humdrum of my daily life that buries me under the weight of my depression. As my fleeting dreams escape me yet again.
  Oh well, it is what it is. This day will pass again and again.

New Years

     Well, its been a long time since I've posted here. Sadly my little blog here has been sorely neglected. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things on here and try posting regularly. 

     You see, over the past years I've felt that I've changed. Changed from the happy little high-schooler to the now jaded adult of I've become. I feel like I've lost a piece of myself, a center that I can no longer find. I'm hoping to start writing and sharing my thoughts again to hopefully find that piece, recover what was lost. 

    I hate to say it, but I've become miserable in my life, and I feel its much too soon to be this way. I want to find that happiness again and maybe, just maybe, create a new self. Someone who is happier and maybe more at peace with herself. You could say that its sort of my New Year's resolution. As many of my co-workers are so sarcastically stating, "New Year, New You."

    So, here's to the start of my journey. And a hopeful path back to happiness.

The Lunar Teaparty

"And so, I said to him, I hop you have a good day!" Kujo laughed heartily, taking a bite of the small carrot. Tsuki held a fluffy paw over her mouth and giggled. They chatted and giggled until the earth went down and the sun came up.

They say that when rabbits die they cross the rainbow bridge to the moon. They can always see the earth. Young and old, they frolic the vast vegetation of the moon, on the side we cannot see, of course. Here they spend eternity with all the other rabbits living in a place most merry.

Tsuki smiled a looked back at the Earth, remembering a time when she spent her days with her owner. Kujo saw this, and too stared up at the swirly orb of green and blue. And both knew they were loved.

This was my semester exam project for Art IV called "The Lunar Teaparty". Featured in this piece are Tsuki, the sweet little lop, and Kujo, the suave black satin.

Tsuki and Kujo were pet rabbits of mine who passed away. Kujo was my very first rabbit who broke through my dad's seemingly impervious "No Rabbits!" barrier. I did not know much about rabbits then but I knew that I loved him with all of my heart. Sadly this lack of knowledge led to his passing in May 2008.
Shortly after we drove to a breeder around Morris to a lop breeder. The woman brought out four small rabbits. I looked at them for a moment and almost immediately picked the tiny black and white doe who was trying to escape the box.

Tsuki was an adventure in herself. Because we had more rabbit proofed our house for her, we were able to let her out every night. I never knew a rabbit could be so hyper. Everyday she would hop around the house (She had domain over nearly every room downstairs). She would rub every shoe she could find, stare down the dogs, and tear up every paper should get her paws on. But, if I tried to pick her up she would give me the most evil death stare. It was so cute! I think the part I remember most about her are her giant fluffy feet. But early one September morning we found that she had passed.

In memory to these two sweethearts, I painted this personified portrait of them sitting on the moon, having a lovely tea party. My teacher loved it and gave me an 'A'. Its been on display in the 900 hallway since January. I'm very flattered and hope that I can take it home one of these days. Hopefully before I graduate.

On a different note, I have two netherland dwarves now; Cotton and Willow. They are very hyper, very cute, and can leap 50 feet in the air (not really, but it seems like it sometimes). And I hope that they will stay with me for a long time.

Wintertime and Interviews

So this is my very first blog post ever~. Woo! -confetti-
So, I'm on Christmas break still. Only about four days left. Boo~. But, so far its been pretty nice. I get to hang out with Amanda and Rachel just about everyday. And, its been snowing. Not just a little bit, but a pretty decent amount. I love looking at the snowy scenery. Everything just looks prettier in the wintertime.

Today something different happened though. I had a phone interview with the Illinois Institute of Art. It took about an hour but I got to find out about some of the courses that I'd be interested in. I really want to go for the certificate of pastry and baking but, I also want to head straight into the arts. And it doesn't seem like I'd be able to do both. But, the woman I talked to recommended that I try for the Media Arts and Animation. It sounds really nifty to think that I could actually animate some of my work. A lot of the programs she was pushing seemed to be for 3-D animation but I think I'm sold at 2-D. I would love to actually make cartoons or at least my own AMV with my own characters.

But, even though animation sounds fun, I'd still much rather do illustrations for children's books and such. It makes me sad that most art related courses are trying to strive for more computer work than traditional. I suppose that's how the art of the future will be. I just hope by the time I'm old and gray that we will still be using traditional arts.